This isn’t a poem. I just felt like sharing. I can articulate my feelings better in writing some times. I feel so sad. I have been feeling like that for the past few days. For the most part (overall) I suppose, i am happy. But I don’t know if I really am. I don’t think it’s healthy to say I’m happy and really not feel that way.
What am I unhappy about? That’s a good question.
Some times I feel lost, but not this time. I understand who I am and why I am here…and blah blah blah blah blah. I understand the bigger picture and the divine destiny and blah blah blah blah blah. I understand all that. But today…
Today I wish I was being held close by someone that really truly love me. Today I wish I didn’t have to be all about the LIFE PURPOSE, that I could just BE in the moment. What is more conscious than being in the moment? Today I wish I could stop feeling alone even though I am surrounded by people everywhere I go. Today I wish I had all the answers.
Right now as I type this I am crying. Not saying this to get your sympathy, just being transparent. People are so afraid to admit they cry. It’s healthy. I don’t cry all the time, but when I feel it coming, I do it. I don’t give a damn where I am. I am tired of doing life purpose work because everything within the human experience is so fucked up. People hating each other because of color. Racism/white supremacy…is still running crazy through hearts and minds. Children are still being molested and abused on every level all over the world. Women are still being degraded all over the world. World leaders still don’t give a damn about the people. There are people still raping Mother Earth. I wonder what life would be like without all this crazy ass bullshit. What would it be like to be born into a world where all this hurt, pain,and mistreatment did NOT exist??? What would it be like if EVERYONE was raised in a healthy family, received honest, stellar education, raised to feel good about one’s self and one’s own abilities, and had plenty to eat, plenty of clothes, and enough money to live comfortably and lived in a society where money wasn’t the first priority, but a by-product of good, balanced, spiritual living????
I want to be kissed. I want to be hugged. Yes, I’m being really honest right now…deal with it. LOL I don’t know how I feel about sex anymore. It has been confusing for me on so many levels. I know there is a potential for sex to be spiritually blissful, but the only time I’ve experienced this is when I’m doing my healing womb energywork BY MYSELF. So…I don’t know what to say about that.
Ok, well that’s my rambling for now. Just had to release some thoughts and feelings. If you read this post…Goddess bless you!
Peace to you,